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   CFNM party rules?
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   Author  Topic: CFNM party rules?  (Read 3475 times)
DBG
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CFNM party rules?
« on: Apr 28th, 2011, 3:54pm »
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I am co-owner of a catering service, my partner is a female I went to culinary school with, there is nothing sexual or even flirty between us.
 
Business has been really bad the last two years. My partner took a contract for a CFNM party. We will prepare hors d'oeuvres and serve them, she and I will act as waitstaff (we have no more employees).
 
I had no idea what this CFNM thing was, but since we need business so badly, I just pretended like I knew and agreed to take the job.
 
When I googled CFNM I thought "Weird, but whatever... long as it pays".
 
But now I am wondering, is it customary for *all men*, even males hired to staff the party to be nude as well?  
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Michael211_2000
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Re: CFNM party rules?
« Reply #1 on: Apr 28th, 2011, 4:28pm »
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Don't think so... not unless the client is also expecting YOU to provide the naked men!  
 
If in doubt, you might aught to call them back and check on that.
« Last Edit: Apr 28th, 2011, 4:30pm by Michael211_2000 » IP Logged

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Re: CFNM party rules?
« Reply #2 on: Apr 28th, 2011, 7:00pm »
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Check with your partner and see what she's agreed to. I doubt she'd forget to mention a detail like that  Grin
 
Unless of course you're interested in going nude...
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DBG
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Re: CFNM party rules?
« Reply #3 on: Apr 29th, 2011, 9:49am »
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"Don't think so... not unless the client is also expecting YOU to provide the naked men!"
 
"Check with your partner and see what she's agreed to. I doubt she'd forget to mention a detail like that"
 
I talked to her last night, she only mentioned to the clients she had a partner who would be there as well. She didnt say I was male, and they didnt ask.
 
When I asked her "Do you you think they will expect me to be naked?" she giggled and said "I dont know, they've already got men invited for that, but they may want to make it a clean sweep."  
 
She will be in contact with them Monday and will ask.  
 
The reason I ask you is when I googled "CFNM party" I got the pictures section of this site and it states "All men had to strip totally nude during the dance routine at the beginning of the party. Once nude, they had to remain fully nude until the end of the party. Any man showing up with his girlfriend or wife, and the guys assisting in throwing the party also had to be completely naked"
 
That sounds it would include like me.  
 
Have either of you attended one of these partes before? Whats the normal thing to do?
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Re: CFNM party rules?
« Reply #4 on: Apr 29th, 2011, 10:44am »
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Nobody can force you into it, if they do happen to ask then it's easy to say "Sorry, that's not part of the service".
 
Anyone organising a CFNM party (or any 'adult gathering' for that matter) will have their own set of rules and boundaries. There's no 'official handbook'.  
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DBG
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Re: CFNM party rules?
« Reply #5 on: May 17th, 2011, 12:45pm »
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In case anyones interested, yes, they wanted me to work nude.
 
I dont think that was their intention at first, but when my business partner Brandie inquired, they decided they liked the idea of carrying the CFNM concept over to staff as well.
 
I was told to undress before the party started or my services wouldnt be required.
 
I chickened, and left.
 
When I started out through the garage I was seriously tempted to take my clothes off and go back to helping Brandie prep. But I didnt.
 
I would love to have seen her face as I walked around the corner, completely naked. We've worked together for 5 years an theres never been so much as a flirty moment between us.  
 
The thought of she and I doing our usual thing, but Brandie clothed and myself nude is more than a little exciting.
 
They also had a DJ, male, and he undressed and  worked in the nude.
 
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Brad
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Re: CFNM party rules?
« Reply #6 on: May 17th, 2011, 1:05pm »
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on May 17th, 2011, 12:45pm, DBG wrote:
In case anyones interested, yes, they wanted me to work nude.
 
I dont think that was their intention at first, but when my business partner Brandie inquired, they decided they liked the idea of carrying the CFNM concept over to staff as well.
 
I was told to undress before the party started or my services wouldnt be required.
 
I chickened, and left.
 
When I started out through the garage I was seriously tempted to take my clothes off and go back to helping Brandie prep. But I didnt.
 
I would love to have seen her face as I walked around the corner, completely naked. We've worked together for 5 years an theres never been so much as a flirty moment between us.  
 
The thought of she and I doing our usual thing, but Brandie clothed and myself nude is more than a little exciting.
 
They also had a DJ, male, and he undressed and worked in the nude.

 
When I originally created this board is was specifically to facilitate real-life CFNM gatherings, and I have participated in CFNM parties, the most having about 40 or 50 people with a ratio of 60% female.
 
The rules of the party typically require *all* men, even photographers (if any) or caterers (we never had them) to be completely nude.   It was thought by us, particularly the women, that any exceptions would ruin the dynamic of it.  The concept being that once one entered into the gathering, it was a different universe than the outside world - an environment where all women are clothed and all men are completely nude, period.
 
We had problems in early parties with some guys showing up, keeping their clothes on then acting like it was a singles pick-up bar ignoring the rules and the other guys.   We learned from that experience that *no* guy would be admitted to the party unless he was completely naked, and only then would the doors open.  This rule served well, and the bar-hopping horn dogs that misrepresented their intent on coming were upset, but too bad for them.
 
So as for me, I do not think allowing professional male staff to remain clothed is appropriate.   The alternative is to use a catering service that is only females and if they bring males, the men must comply like the rest of us.
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readyforcfnm
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Re: CFNM party rules?
« Reply #7 on: May 17th, 2011, 2:43pm »
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Very interesting dilemma DBG.
 
I totally understand your decision to decline especially since the opportunity was related to your business.
 
A couple of questions:
1) Did your Brandie give you details of the activities at the party? What was actually expected of men? Did they do more than wait on the ladies while naked? How many men attended?
 
2) If you had a do over now, would you still make the same decision? Maybe your partner will be invited to cater for them again ....and you have to make the choice again.
 
3) When did the party occur? And roughly where? How many women attended? Its always great to hear about an actual even that has occurred.
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sprocket1986
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Re: CFNM party rules?
« Reply #8 on: May 17th, 2011, 3:17pm »
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What an interesting story, thank you for posting it!
 
One additional thought I had, this may be totally off base but I think many areas have laws regulating "adult entertainment" businesses; and if you had gone nude at the party, I'm wondering if your catering business would have fallen under that category in the eyes of law enforcement since in effect you would have been paid to be a nude entertainer.  I'm not sure what that would have entailed, if you would have needed a separate license or whatnot.  Also, laws regarding food service businesses tend to be pretty strict as well, and I'm not sure if serving food in the nude would be a violation of anything.  If the situation should come up again, it might not hurt to check your local laws to make sure you don't run into any problems.
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Re: CFNM party rules?
« Reply #9 on: May 18th, 2011, 10:20am »
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I think people have to re-read what was posted via Sprocket  above. For one lady ignored such at her Penn. (USA) home and was a former moderator her, and got kicked out.  
 
I go to the local Planning Comm. meetings quite often and this is one hot topic at them.
 
Bill
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Re: CFNM party rules?
« Reply #10 on: May 18th, 2011, 10:37am »
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I spent the weekend at a nudist resort a few weeks ago and noticed that in their restaurant there was a sign on the door to the kitchen that said "clothing required beyond this point" which I'm sure was because of some health department or OSHA regulation.  At every bar I've ever worked at the rule has been that you can't even enter the kitchen if you're wearing opened toe shoes; even if you just stopped by in your street clothes to check the schedule.
 
Of course you can get away with a lot more at a private party than you can at a regular bar or a strip club.  I talked on here before about the time that I was the nude bartender for a bachelorette party but I didn't get paid, plus it was at somebodies house and my friend organized it; so we weren't really worried about the health department or the vice squad investigating us.
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DBG
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Re: CFNM party rules?
« Reply #11 on: May 18th, 2011, 12:01pm »
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Quote:
1) Did your Brandie give you details of the activities at the party? What was actually expected of men? Did they do more than wait on the ladies while naked? How many men attended?

 
At first she just said "Its a CFNM party" and she didnt know all the details until the following Monday when she met with the clients.  
 
Apparently, men behaved like they were at a regular party, they were just naked. Men did get drinks for the ladies. There was dancing, and some touching as it went on.  
 
Im not sure exactly how many men or women were there but Brandie said only about a dozen women, who were mostly older (40s to 60s).  
 
Quote:
2) If you had a do over now, would you still make the same decision? Maybe your partner will be invited to cater for them again ....and you have to make the choice again.

 
I'd be tempted.  
 
Quote:
3) When did the party occur? And roughly where? How many women attended? Its always great to hear about an actual even that has occurred.

 
It was last saturday, in Florida, in a very upper class gated subdivision on a small bay.
 
Quote:
One additional thought I had, this may be totally off base but I think many areas have laws regulating "adult entertainment" businesses; and if you had gone nude at the party, I'm wondering if your catering business would have fallen under that category in the eyes of law enforcement

 
I thought about that as well, but I dont think any of the party goers were going to rat 'em out, and even though I left, I wasnt going to either.  
 
Quote:
The rules of the party typically require *all* men, even photographers (if any) or caterers (we never had them) to be completely nude.   It was thought by us, particularly the women, that any exceptions would ruin the dynamic of it.

 
The woman who owned the house were this took place also liked that dynamic.  
 
She has been married twice, left twice for younger women, and was set to be married again in June, but her fiancee jilted her.  
 
I think this is some sort of revenge against men, and a chance for her and her gal pals to have the kind of fun usually reserved for men.  
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Brad
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Re: CFNM party rules?
« Reply #12 on: May 18th, 2011, 1:00pm »
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Then in my opinion, the woman that is throwing the party should have the final say given she is paying for the catering.
 
Many of us have been to clothing-optional events where the men are mostly the ones that are nude. If the woman would have wanted that, I'm sure she would have indicated as much. A lot of people don't recognize (particularly the horn dogs unfamiliar with what CFNM is about) that the CF is just as important a dynamic as the NM, particularly for the women. But if there is a clothing-optional arrangement for some of the men, it not only changes the nature of the party, but some of the guys may feel awkward.
 
I've experienced this when I've been nude and other guys weren't - it makes me feel, well, a bit out-of-step. It particularly became problematic when there were certain party activities the girls were coercing the men to get into such as doing a striptease or (in my case) wanting me to self pleasure myself in front of a group of them. It was very awkward to be doing that when there were guys fully clothed around me as there was a tension between me and the other guys, I guess it could be their sensitivity to homophobia. I can't explain it more than that - you just have to experience what I'm talking about. But when all the guys are nude, it makes it a level playing field and something in which I'm very much in-step, sort of "well, we're all in this together, let's not cast critical glances at others because you're in the same boat".
 
Just some thoughts, I'm sure you'll do what you think best - good luck!
« Last Edit: May 18th, 2011, 1:07pm by Brad » IP Logged
Michael211_2000
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Re: CFNM party rules?
« Reply #13 on: May 18th, 2011, 3:36pm »
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Sounds like all worked out well though, DBG... your company still got the catering work, even though you yourself weren't able to work the party. And it get's your company's name "out there" (ie. the party goers will hopefully think of your catering company when they have additinal get-togethers in the future... for CFNM or just plain regular parties).  
 
I presume you did help with the before-party setup and after-party cleanup though?  
 
I do wonder though where/how this lady got the men for her party?  Grin
 
Regards!
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